Friday, April 26, 2013
Wow, haven't been blogging much lately, have I? Honestly this last month was kind of a blur of stress and crap and I'd prefer to not have to deal with the like again. I think I'm only starting to calm down a little bit because a friend of mine gave me some of her klonopin. And I have an appointment next week to talk to a psychiatrist, and probably get some chemicals of my own. After years of depression followed by years of remission, I seem to have developed an anxiety disorder. Though as a friend of mine said, well you have a reason to be anxious. Yes, and no. At this point, I have a lot of irrational fears and it's affecting how I am interacting with the world, and I'm just done with that. I don't want to be afraid in my house. I don't want to be afraid to leave my house. I don't want to be inside my brain which is constantly catastrophizing everything and spinning and spinning in a bad way. Anyway, I am moving towards finding help, finding a way to cope and move forward with my life.